Now I'm one of "THOSE"

I became one of those people I've criticized mercilessly: Cell phone users at the gym. I used the iPod on my iPhone instead of my regular iPod today. And because I was riding the bike instead of running (giving the body a rest from jolts), when the phone rang, I answered it. (It was Dorsey, OK?)

I even made a few texts in between reps while doing weights.

Ugh! I can't believe I crossed that line!

I will not take my iPhone into the gym again. I will not. I will not. I will not.

Feelings

The hardest part about being a human being is feeling. I'm sure robots have much less complicated lives.

Another long one down

Yes, I made it the 24 miles. Actually 24.3 miles. And it hurt. Sometimes it was my right foot; sometimes it was my hips; other times, my knees or my right butt muscle.

When exactly does it get easier, anyway? I keep hoping with every new long run, it hurts a little less ... which I guess the 22 miles hurt less than the 20. Oh, well. It's over, and I know I only have 2 more miles to go to complete a marathon. I'm hoping the excitement of the event, all the people, all the entertainment ... those things will get me through.

Again, unless I get injured in the next few weeks, I don't think there's a question of finishing. Now I've just found myself caught up in wanting a decent time. Mmmmm, I think that's probably not going to happen unless everything works out perfectly for me on Dec. 13.

Needless to say, I'm not moving around so well at the moment ...

Thought it might be time for a little update

OK, so it's not that anything fun or exciting has happened, but, I have been procrastinating writing for more than a week. I'll sit down to write, but nothing happens ...

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Things I've learned and/or don't understand this week:

1. Some things are better left unsaid. I need to know when to keep my mouth shut (or my typing fingers in a resting position). Fact is, I over-think things when others haven't given the issue much thought at all. Then I look like an ass -- and feel like one, too.

2. Some things are better left undone. (Alas, we are imperfect.)

3. Why do Dorsey and Jordie play ridiculous video games and yell at them the whole time? What's the point?

4. "Criminal Minds" is my new favorite show while I have to wait on "Dexter" for next season. I especially like dorky Dr. Reid and sexy Derrick Morgan.

5. I'm horrified to say I am tempted to rent all the "Grey's Anatomy" shows where I left off after I dumped the show. I've been to the gym several times when they've had it playing on one of the cable networks. No, no, no, no! I wanna be mad at it!!!

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I'm scheduled to run 24 miles on Sunday. I'm seriously wondering how well that's going to turn out when I haven't eaten well most of the week, thanks to stomach problems. Guess I'll find out. (And I'll need to have lots of that nasty GU available.)

It's truly hard to believe when I first said I was going to run a marathon (in June) that I would stick it out and actually see it through. I think I must have expected to get injured, or something. I played basketball my whole life (almost) with injuries of various sorts, most specifically in my feet, so it surprises me that I have made it this far.

I think one thing that's taken the enjoyment out of this endeavor for me is the worry of getting a race-ending injury. When I run, I think too much about what's hurting and what isn't, about whether it's serious or just a normal ache and pain. It's like running ... but having to be cautious and careful the whole time, which sort of takes the "fun" out of it. I would rather "run with abandon."

I really need to get this one under my belt. Just six weeks away. Wow.

And I'm nervous.

I've also discovered that even though I listen to my iPod while I run, and I specifically concentrate on lyrics to songs, I still can't shut my brain off when I want to. I still think too much about things I'd rather not think about ... or things I'd rather not roll over and over in my mind. Can I not catch a break? Just ... run ... just let me go ... for once. Let me be free of myself.

Maybe that's why I like sleep so much.

It is my refuge on earth, anyway.

Twenty -two was my favorite number in junior high

I suppose toning down my training the past week helped me out. I ran 22 today without "as much" discomfort. In other words, it was easier than the 20 a couple of weeks ago. I also added an extra "gag me" GU and some Aleve midway through the run.

I'm trying to avoid injuries ... feet, hamstrings, hips ... I'm hoping the weight training program I'm on will continue to make me stronger in the legs and butt muscles. Gotta keep stretching, too. And using my miracle foam roller. Oh, and the "Stick." The stick is another deep massage tool. Works well on the hamstrings and calf muscles.

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So, I've learned some interesting and not-so-interesting things during this training journey.

1. Clothing really does matter. Basketball shorts are not ... I repeat NOT ... meant for running. Neither is anything made of cotton.

2. Always run in black shorts or black pants. No need to explain further.

3. It's amazing how long something will stay in the middle of a street before it becomes a part of the pavement. Weeks. At least that's how long those undies on Hawthorne Street took.

4. Music matters.

5. GU is the nastiest stuff I've ever tasted. But I've already said that.

6. Sleep is good. Sleep is so, so, so good.

7. No matter how many miles I run, I now know I'll never be completely happy with "my" runner's legs. Sucks, huh?

8. Dogs are annoyances while running ... the unleashed ones.

9. Taping my ankles gives me good memories of high school and playing basketball.

10. I had no idea how many people text while driving until I started running. They certainly keep me on my toes and on the lookout!

11. I have to keep track of my 3-mile loops back to my water station on my long runs; otherwise, I can't remember. I lose track of how much I've run. So, I write tick marks on the porch bench!! Colorful. Think I'll use a different colored Sharpie every week.

That's all I can remember for now. Here's to an injury-free week!

Crazy, busy, drama-filled week!

I think toning down my training is helping me physically and mentally. My sore ankle is OK now. My feet feel better, too. I've been combining shorter runs on the treadmill (softer on the feet) with riding a stationary bike (not a fan). I worked out only four days this week instead of five.

Hopefully, when I do my long run on Sunday, I'll feel much better. Just have to get that left hamstring looser ... (but it's better, too).

I think as I started to experience injury-like discomforts, I got discouraged ... fearful that after all this work, something would happen to ruin the actual Dec. 13 race. I really need to think more positive thoughts, huh?

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Jackie did Match.com first. In less than a month, she had found her man and is engaged; they plan to be married in January. So, she payed for a month for Lisa, just because Lisa would not have done it on her own. In less than three weeks, Lisa and her new guy are completely in love.

Does everyone have that kind of luck on Match.com?

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The drama is heating up at work again. This person we call "the snake" is only happy when she's dividing and conquering ... and bullying one of her subordinates (but don't worry, the bullied one has lots of support from the rest of us). The thing is, we're all onto the snake, so she's not nearly as effective as she once was. Thankfully, she isn't my boss, so I can ignore her. I pretend she doesn't exist. Of course, it's difficult to completely pretend she doesn't exist when the hackles on my neck rise whenever she's near. (Plus, I do keep my eye on her ... always careful to avoid that knife.)

I have absolutely no patience for people like her. I learned all about this from the Queen Sociopath three years ago and vowed never to be in that position again. I do hate seeing the snake in action, though. She works on one target at a time (typical), and makes up whatever is necessary to cause a wedge between the employee and the big boss, or between one employee and another. I made it clear to the big boss when she once tried her evil on me that I would no longer have anything to do with this woman, would no longer believe a word she says, and hoped he, too, would listen to her with discerning ears.

I guess recently the snake saw things were getting too comfortable and happy again in our little office among social workers, counselors, and clerks. This past week has been ... stressful for a few, thanks to the snake's discomfort with other people's happiness.

I know this, though ... she's getting mighty close to slithering along so fast she's going to slice her own belly. It will be an ugly sight.

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Speaking of work, "they" are "fixing" our heating and air-conditioning system in our building, which is separate from the prison buildings (but still connected). Some days, it's 90 degrees (not an exaggeration), and other days, it's 40 (also not an exaggeration). Makes it difficult to know how to dress ... and work.

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Had a "showdown" of sorts with an inmate this past week because he crossed a boundary and then tried to blame me (aka, the victim). That's typical behavior. And also typical for the other inmates to run to the aid of the inmate in trouble, creating further conflict to handle. Kind of makes doing "therapy" groups a challenge when you have to start over at square one. It also makes those of us who work with this population tend toward the cynical, jaded side after a while.

It will all blow over, though ... always does.

About birthdays, Dexter withdrawals and stress fractures

Yesterday was my birthday. Last year I turned 40. This year, I am 39. For real.

I spent the day at work and then had a couple of clients last night. I was so tired when I came home, I crashed. That's what getting old does for you.

It also gives you arthritis ... apparently in your toes. At least for me it has. Today I went to the doctor (Zak Weis, podiatrist ... that's a plug for my friend) because I have been afraid my 20 miles on Sunday gave me a stress fracture. That's what it was feeling like, anyway. I've had them before when I was a fanatical runner in college. Zak made fun of me about that. He said, "You aren't fanatical now?"

No, for the record, I'm not. I'm training, and I'm on a mission.

Anyway, the x-rays show no problems. Just some toe arthritis and a little inflammation. I'm just supposed to do a little cross-training to give my feet a break for a week or two.

It's funny I can say I'm glad I have arthritis ... beats the heck out of a stress fracture.

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Did I mention Dorsey got me an iPhone for my birthday? Yep. And I'm not smart enough to figure it out yet. I'm working on it, though. I need to get my hair high-lighted again so I can have more blond roots to blame for my slowness. I'm just sayin.'

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Dorsey and I watched "Footloose" the other night. I had forgotten how much I loved that movie. LOVE Kevin Bacon and can't believe he's now in his 50s. Now I'm looking forward to seeing how well they manage to remake "Footloose." How can it possibly be as good? And how can goody two-shoes John Lithgow now be an evil serial killer on "Dexter?"

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Oh, my ... I'm having serious Dexter withdrawals! Which reminds me, I was doing just fine until I went to get my feet x-rayed today and realized Zak Weis sounds just like Dexter. Just. Like. Dexter.

Only ... Zak isn't a serial killer. He saves feet instead of chops them off.